In my attempt to shake things up, I’ve started reading more blogs rather than just focusing on my own. One of the major things I have struggled with is getting back to reading. I started small by reading a book that I know very well, and just let the simple pleasure of reading a favorite book wash over me. It doesn’t hurt that I have a little free time at work where I can pull up a digital copy and just sit there to read for a few hours.
What do ya know, I’m getting paid to read!
Blog-wise, I’m reading more about other people’s experiences as writers or as freelance writers. I can’t even begin to think about how I’m supposed to dance with that devil. I know it can be done and people can make a living from doing that kind of work. The question is, do I have the chops for it? How do you know that you can make it out there doing something like that? According to some people you have to take your lumps and start out doing content writing. Just thinking about that kind of work makes me feel like I want to crawl back into bed and pull the blanket back up to my chin. But then my feet poke out at the bottom and I get cold easily. It’s a short blanket, I really need to get a longer one.
It’s a lot to think about.
The point is that I have a small flame going and I want to burn that mother down.
I haven’t written anything new in terms of flash fiction. I’m thinking about getting a book with compiled works of flash fiction to help get me back into the groove. I know there are plenty of websites and blogs out there with exactly that, but at the same time, I would love to have a physical copy in my hands.
When I think about researching other people’s work and how they got to where they are, it makes me think about going to school. It reminds me of how there would always be someone who was in charge of putting together a plan about what we would be reading and what we would be doing. All of these things would all be directed towards bettering your craft and improving yourself. Unfortunately, outside of your formal education, once you’re on your own, you are the one in charge of improving yourself and finding those things that will help you become better at what you do. I guess that’s what I’m trying to do, create my lesson plan. My creative drive is needing some gas and I’ve got to find some soon.
There is this teacher that I think about when I need to get some writing done. He would come to class and tell us about how lazy he was being with his writing. He would always conclude with deciding that over the weekend he would be doing some “ass time.” It just meant that he would be sitting his butt down and getting to work. He also had this word for his constant evolution as a writer. He called it Chaconing. It’s a wordplay on his last name, which is kind of neat. It’s been a long time since I’ve talked to him or since I’ve been one of his students, but he was my first creative writing teacher, and one that I hold in high regard. When I think back to his class, I think about this word and I’ve realized that I’ve stopped Chaconing or Virginiaing. That looks like a very weird version of his word, but I don’t have one for myself, so, here we are.
I’ve stopped evolving as a writer, and have not given myself a chance to evolve. Not that the opportunities aren’t there, but rather they’ve become the paths I’ve chosen not to take. I don’t feel like I regret the things I’ve done in my life up till now. It’s more that the current path I’m on isn’t taking me anywhere I want to go, and now is the time to take off the blinders so I can roam freely. Somehow in this explanation, I’ve become a horse, which is fine, I just don’t know how I got there. Either way, it’s time to do what I want to do.
Why now, why not a long time ago? I think that when I graduated from college, I was more focused on getting out and just doing anything to establish myself in the world. Read that as instant gratification. I wanted to earn a lot of money doing whatever I already knew how to do, and everything else I would just figure out later. Well here we are six years later and nothing has been figured out. The only thing that’s been figured out is that I hate doing customer service, and if I have to work, I’d rather be doing it at home. I don’t mind interacting with people, I don’t mind helping them, I do mind when you’re doing all you can and they just get ruder by the second. As I said, if I could stay at home and read and write all day, I would.
So all of you lovely writers out there who get where I’m coming from, what’s your advice? Do we all just have to take our lumps before anything real comes from our writing?
Until then I’ll do what I do best, be patient and keep moving forward.
By the way, up top, you will see a picture of that view I was talking about in my last post. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, go read the last post. In fact read all the posts, because why not? It’s a little hard to get the best picture because of the way the light shines at that time of the day. However, the view is beautiful. I wish I could spend more time looking at it. Sadly the bills have to get paid and we have to eat. I can’t quit my day job just yet, or night job since it is the second shift.
In the meantime, here’s an oldie, but a goodie. Need to get some ass time done and crank out new stuff this weekend.
With his legs pulled up to his chest, he wrapped his arms around them and buried his face to his knees. The air whipped his hair around and blew at the tears sliding down his face. From the ledge where he sat, the sun enveloped him in its early morning warmth, giving him the strength he could never get moving among the shadows of the night. He lifted his eyes to stare out at the city below. As a steady stream of cars moved along the streets, he began to wonder, would he ever be able to keep his promise?